Check yourself fool! Also, check cyclingnews.com for the latest Tour of Shenandoah info and pics. I sent those basts an angry email a couple days ago demanding ToS coverage and they came through for me. Thanks, you crazy aussies!

I took the liberty of lifting some choice pics from the cyclingnews site for everyone's enjoyment. This is the first time that Ian, Christof, and Hardman have been featured together on the tri-dub (www), and is quite a testament to UVA cycling heritage.

Many thanks to Bill McCarrick, the best cycling photog EVER!

---

Not too long ago, USPS/Discovery Russian workhorse Viatcheslav Ekimov had this look:


In late March, this photo of the P-Hen (with Lion of Fluvanna haircut) went up on Cat 3 Corner:



Suddenly, Ekimov shows up in Georgia with this haircut:



Coincidence?

---

I'm a dawdler, I admit it. If there is time to be wasted, consider it spent like so much loose change at the manual car wash. Going for a ride? Gotta make sure the proper music is being tossed out of the stereo while getting dressed; gotta forget the right set of keys; gotta forget to check the weather and run back upstairs 4x for jacket, different gloves, or sunscreen. I've even managed to be full-on late for work, like really really LATE, and still find myself checking eBay just one more time before heading to the car. What the hell? Is this a disease?

So it's no surprise that it took me until last weekend (4/15) to enter my first bike race of the year. What a slacker! I could blame moving across the country, a nasty respiratory infection, 30 inches of rain, or being the one person out here without a power meter, but I've just been lazy when it comes to the thing known as training. In fact, I have officially not worn a HR monitor at any point since July 31, 2005. How you like them apples? This is how we roll the Cat 3 Corner here in the Park....Menlo Park. Numbers are for bitches!
After being sick the previous weekend and missing Sea Otter, I was lucky to find that there was a crit about 5 minutes from my house last Saturday. 4 corners, flat and windy = please slash my corneas with rusty butter knives....but what can you do?

The great thing is that 2 cherries were popped simultaneously on Saturday. Not only was this my first official Cat 3 race (as a Cat 3, awhoops), but also my first race in California. Supposedly the crit riders out here are the 'best in the country'. Pish posh. The D-Gal even showed up to watch and rock some photo duty, accompanied by his wonderful mom, The C-Gal.


Why the ants in my pantaloons? I don't know. I noticed a few racers not on the verge of puking and so, looking down at my beloved WWTRD? bracelet (What Would The Rog Do?), I dropped the hammer on those tan bitches.

Nothing stayed away for long all day. Why do the officials always ring the goddamn prime bell right as you're about to get reeled in? Anyway, I used up a lot of gas by 3 laps to go and ended up not contesting the massive and very sketchy field sprint at the end. It was fun, and I also figured out the greatest thing about being a terminal Cat 3: if you don't want/need points to upgrade, you can race aggressively (stupidly?) to win, damn the torpedoes. Sure as hell beats racing 'not to lose', as many guys do when feeling pressured to cat up in a hurry (see Sheff's 2005 season). You win some/none, you lose some/a lot.

I'm a loser and proud of it, for now. But the training has begun and it's on like Donkey Kong.

---

Welcome to the first ever Cat3 Corner interactive match-em-up game. It's kinda like pin the tail on the donkey, but way cooler and way sexier.

About a year ago, our speedy gonzales UVA men's A squad took the ACC by storm and won the conference championship team time trial (TTT) in insane crosswinds and a flat course that suits fatties, not our 145 lb janglers. The same squad cruised it together at collegiate nationals in Kansas, where we got our asses kicked kung fu style.

Unfortunate photos were taken. Match the legs (letter) to the rider (number):


The playas:




1. Christoph Christopherson: man with the plan. Currently on his way to China to race with other pro-dads. (note bling)
















2. Huffdrea: actually, it's just Huffy. A pillar of the hot-military-academy-teacher community, Huffy leads the way when it comes to suffering for the sake of suffering while on the bike. (note chagrin)










3. D-Gal: We here at Cat3 Corner feel for the D-Gal right now. He's been under the weather since racing down in the DR a few weeks ago. D-Gal cranked with us to victory last year on the Time Machine, a TT bike that he rode into the door of a parked car in C-ville at 25 mph, less than a month before conference championships. What a tuffman! (note professional photoshop work courtesy of Sheff)














4. Sheff: Probably the worst flat time trialist in UVA cycling history, Sheff paved the way for strugglers who can't get low but still roll deep. No one knows how the hell he didn't get left behind in the conference TTT, but it wasn't pretty. (note square footage of forehead space...billboards going up soon!)











Post your answers on the comments page (A-3, B-1, etc). The first correct post will receive a free CD by 1000 Homo DJ's*! It's from Ian's 'Best Of' techno collection:

---

vs.

vs.

?

---

All this talk about racing has my palms a-sweaty for the new season. Certain slackers haven't gotten around to the safety pin mambo that is strapping on a number and getting ones competition on. That will all change, for better or worse, this weekend when I head down to Laguna Seca speedway for the Sea Otter Classic. Heading to one of the biggest NRC races on the west coast to squeeze in a 'training race' is probably not the wisest thing ever done, but I'm a scientist, not a strategerist. To say that I am unprepared is perhaps an understatement, but so help me I will DESTROY this guy on the mountain top RR finish:
Then again, maybe not. Do your sunglasses match your jersey? Does the spit valve on your CamelBak match your shorts trim, gloves, and I-jerk-it-to-be-like-L.A. Trek paintjob? I didn't think so. As that really terrible country song goes: "these colors don't run." Maybe, but all the women do. Far. Away. From you.
It's been raining here in Palo Alto pretty much every day for about 5 weeks and I'm full of hate. I think it rained 28 of 31 days in March, last I heard. Just to make sure, I thought this was goddamn California. Did I miss an exit? If I wanted to be wet and cold and pay $3.15 for a gallon for gas, I would move to New Jersey, thank you very much. I suppose the reservoirs and such are being replenished, which is always a plus. You know there are problems with the ground water causing mutations and shit when they have an outright ban on dogs with human front legs:


I spent Saturday evening up in SF in the Haight. Pretty sweet, caught Band of Horses playing at the Mezz, but most importantly: Homeless Guy Alert! I swear these guys follow me around looking for press. Dude was riding an office chair down the (very crowded) sidewalk as though it were the luge in Torino...before swinging into McDonalds for a burger. I never saw this in Richmond or DC.

---

Truebelievers, the P-Hen has additional bad news.

First, the P-Hen has not committed a felony in the last month, so the P-Hen begins his work as a juror in Charlottesville Circuit Court this week.

Also, to the Shebelievers out there: while the P-Hen is flattered by all the fan mail that's come in since the last post, what part of "Oh no, you're not having the P-Hen's baby" did you not understand?

Shebelievers, you leave me no choice...it's time for another installment of

Why You Should Stay With Your Man, Baby, Even if You Want the P-Hen's Jelly




Chapter 6: Personal Contact

Your Man: okay, he's no P-Hen. But you can touch him whenever you want, even if it's just to spray him with mace.

The P-Hen: The P-Hen realizes that cuddling is important. But, she-believers, everyone--even Cool Honey-- has to be frisked by the P-Hen's entourage for reasons of personal safety. Even the P-Hen's mother can only hug for 5 seconds before the P-Handlers push her away.

And that's just hugging the P-Hen's father. Imagine if she tried hugging the P-Hen.

The Verdict: You should stay with your man, baby, even if you want the P-Hen's jelly.

Also, whoever sent me this, thank you:



But next time, remember that the P-Hen does not roll in "Mens Medium."
She-believer, the P-Hen always rolls in "Youth Large."

---