I feel like a bacon-wrapped date.

I can no longer tolerate wearing this belt of bacon.
2 years of b-school has thickened the skin a bit. Now the time has come to become 'that guy.' The guy who rolls out to 2nd-rate group rides with his old pro shorts on. They guy who tells tall tales of how awesome it was. The guy who rides only to maintain weight and occasionally enjoy the pleasure of riding and socializing.